Further Confusion
by Nicole Coulton

"Umm. Hi, everyone. My name is William Samstag. I go by Liam."
"Hi, Liam," a chorus of growls and squeaks chimed out, in the best

psuedo-friendliness they could muster in a sewer system at 3 AM.
"I don't know what to tell you. I was walking home from work when it

happened. I was an office bitch for Prescott Engineering. I'm not really sure what

the company did. I just handled mail, filing, shit like that. I'm pretty curious by

nature, but I couldn't figure out a damn thing about what they were trying to get

across. Anyway, I worked pretty late, but I usually decided to walk through a

section of Golden Gate Park. I knew it was dangerous, but I didn't know how . . .

insane, it was. I mean, I grew up in the middle of Nowhere, CA, so I never really

figured it was that dangerous. I guess I was naive."
"And how!" A manic voice called out from the back.
"Quiet, Leslie!" The counselor called out from atop a milk crate in the

corner.
"So. Um. I decided to sit out on a bench. I, um. It was a full moon, and I

thought it was pretty, so I sat down to do some writing. You see, I'm a poet. That

is, I try to write a lot of poetry. The funny thing about being a poet is, only poets

really like poetry. Anyway, the moon. The moon was particularly bright that night,

or at least I thought so, so I sat down to write about it. I can read it if you want

me, to. It starts like this . . . Silver sphere silently skating swiftly across-"
More groans.
"That's when I was bitten."
"Who bitcha?" Leslie inquired from across the pipe, sprawled out.
"I don't know. I certainly don't owe them any favors."
"With poetry like that, maybe you do," she said. The counselor just shook

her head.
"I don't know that the change has been all bad. I mean, it gave me a new

perspective on the connection between the civilized and primal sides of me. It's

difficult sometimes, of course, we all know that. I never imagined this world

existed. If I weren't already kind of fantastical- I've always been a dreamer- I

probably would have died from shock. I nearly did as it was. It'll be two months

next week, and I'm really afriad of the next shift. I know there are ways to keep

yourself from going crazy. I guess that's why I'm here. To get advice on the

change, to connect with others who have met the same fate, and were as

shocked as I was. I've never been one to as for help but . . . "
"It's not every day you're forcibly introduced to a city's magical underworld, Liam," the counselor said, "and we're all here to help you with that transition. I myself, was introduced to my own . . . characteristics more than ten years ago, and living with them has been difficult, but I couldn't imagine living without them, now."
"What is it you do again, Miss . . . ?" I trailed off, embarassed to admit that I had already forgotten her name and title.
"Let me introduce myself. You're not the only newbie, we've had a few new inductees since the last meeting." She cleared her throat, stood up, back straight, head raised, the very picture of elegance.
"Here, my name is Lady Ironbane, and I am a faespeaker. In the City, my name is Erika Moon, and I am the sole proprietor of Magick Flour Bakery, San Francisco's own Wiccan Bakery. Not that I'm trying to advertise. I prefer Lady Ironbane here, because it gives me a sense of separation. Here, I am a faespeaker who happens to own a bakery in the City. There, I am a successful entrepeneur who happens to talk to faeries, occasionally taking advantage of my relationship with them when need be. This difference is even more pronounced for some of you. For example, Liam doesn't need to be Liam the Werewolf in the City. Maybe there, he's just Liam the Poet."
"Actually, I'm just Liam the Office Bitch there. And I don't know how much longer I'll be that. Limiting my availability to work based on moon phase has been rather frustrating to explain- I've been lucky in that they've given me weekends off already."
"Try compromising.

You know, this livejournal doesn't really get any use anymore. Between facebook, MySpace, Twitter and AIM, I don't know what to make of LJ. D:

Okay, screw you guys. When NaNoWriMo rolls around and I finish my autobiography/stream-of-consciousness anthology Planet of the Crepes, you'll WORSHIP ME!

Or have I yet to tell you guys about Doc Knight?

Okay, picture this. The ghost of a 16th century Knight, probably from Germany or England, is imprisoned in a sword by Faeries(who don't exist, but so sue me, the initial deus ex machina will do for now). He's revived by a Harry-Dresden-esque wizard-detective living in Brooklyn, but due to certain supernatural laws, the Knight is tied into the body of Wizard's neighbor, is a doctor. Now, it just so happens Doctor watched a lot of Batman during his childhood staying off the Brooklyn streets. So, using his newfound knowledge of swordplay and magic, he takes on the identity of . . .

The Doc Knight.

Also, I just got back from playing DnD. I used a d20 and everything.

Did I just gain a nerd level?

-The Cold Digits
Go on painting
your sexbot girlfriend's nails
in my shade of blue
Even though it's cheaper to install them permanent
Solid steel-blue plastic chips on the end of her fingers
Tracing sines over your math homework
Is she cool enough for you?
_by UIBSJCA2045 for OSHRNNV2045

-Hover Haiku
Floating over us
Hovercraft hides our shame
Naked and sweaty
_by ISSVNCN2041

-Fundamental Forces of Nature
My hand is touching your hip.
Well, it's not
Technically
It's magnetically repelled by one angstrom due to the repulsive forces that our electrons exert upon each other, but since that's one of the-
No! You're not repulsive! You're beautiful!
It's just, the electrons-
Oh, you're naked.
We never covered this force in class,
But my gravitation, this strong attraction
I'm sure that's no weak interaction.
_by NGNRNYNY2053

I give you GOLD to work with, and no one makes a response. I am disappointed in you folk!

How about this.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it- DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?

Where do babies come from?

So, after getting one of the better workouts of my life with Twilight Knights Renaissance Guild-

I have decided that
Sacrificing my weekends
Taking the bus an hour and a half to De Anza
Running around in circles
Getting hit in the head with a shinai
Marching back and forth for reasons that require heavy explanation
Doing push-ups
Getting hit in the head with a shinai some more
Blowing all of my money on post-practice lunch, gear I'll barely use, and props I know I won't-
. . . and doing it all over again every weekend

So I can have people make fun of my funny French hat and nerdy hobby-

Is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Thank you.

or

( We do what we like, and we like what we do. )